She’s Called Out of Doubt & Into Motherhood
My story starts way back when I was 5 or 6 years old. I remember driving with my family on our way to visit my maternal grandparents, when my mom asked the question: “ What do you want to be when you grow up?” The answer was easy: “ What must I study to be a mom?” Needless to say, my parents had a good chuckle about this one. This desire never left me.
God’s Word to me
17 years go by, I meet my prince charming, we get married and start trying for a family. In 2005, I received a prophetic word from the Lord (one of many). “Don’t be afraid, you are going to have 2 children”.
As months and years go by, you start questioning the prophetic words and your own ability to hear from the Lord. I asked for a new word, confirmation….anything, and He graciously encouraged me through stories of Abraham and Sarah, Hannah or any of the many barren women in the bible.
Dark days, uncertainty & our own plans
Many years go by without seeing the fulfilment of those promises. In 2015 we decided to consult a fertility specialist. After some attempts at cheaper treatments and eventually some diagnostic tests, I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure. The doctor said my best option would be trying IVF treatment with donor eggs. This was such difficult news to process and I finally decided to make peace with the fact that I was simply not going to have my own children.
Then at the beginning of 2019 my husband suggested that we try IVF. I was shocked since I didn’t think we could afford this procedure, but the Lord supplied in miraculous ways! We decided to get a second opinion. This doctor was quite confident that we had many options and did not necessarily have to go for donor eggs, but after a lengthy discussion we agreed that donor eggs would increase our chances by 30%. Sadly, we never consulted God on this topic, but kinda informed Him of our plans and maybe expected Him to bless it. And so our plans failed and we were shattered once again. We didn’t understand.
How is it possible that God would supply the finances and then it doesn’t happen like we planned?
Returning to the Lord
“So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. (1 Co. 3:7)”
A friend suggested that I go back to the Lord and ask Him for a new word, and so I did. This time I decided to ask a very specific question, “Lord, must we do another round of IVF?” This was the start of a whole new journey. I had finally reached the point where God had the floor and could work and speak to me. And boy did He speak! I was convinced that we had to go for another round of IVF treatment, but the difficult part was that my husband was not as convinced of this. He needed a word from the Lord for himself and he was pretty specific about wanting to hear God in an audible voice.
Little did he know that God is able to do just that!
By the time the Lord spoke to him, around the 9th of Aug 2019, the Lord had shared many specifics with me, so when hubby very excitedly shared the news of his encounter with the Lord, I had more news to share. We needed to use my own eggs this time round.
From here on, we were determined not to make any decisions without consulting God first.
It’s not always easy, but God is Faithful
“that you do not become sluggish, but imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.” (Hebrews 6:12)
Even though God was clearly in this it wasn’t a straight forward road. At first, my body didn’t respond to the treatment and we had to cancel the attempts. Having gained knowledge form the first round of IVF, I had information that would change the way I prayed about this next attempt. So I roped in a few friends and together we started praying for excellent quality eggs.
It took more than 2 month before my body was ready and responded to the treatment and after 5 days of growing we had 5 excellent quality eggs. On the 27th of Dec 2019 we received the best news ever, and 4 weeks later the news got even better, I was expecting TWINS! And they are due to arrive a year after the Lord spoke to my husband audibly. We are now the proud parents of the most beautiful little 5 month old twins!
Thank you Lord for never giving up on us!
We have learned so much about ourselves and how important it is to trust the Lord when He has given a word and can now confidently say that no word from God will return void unto Him, but it will accomplish that which He sent it to accomplish. (Isaiah 55:11)
God speaks through the Doubt
I want to thank Delene for sharing her story with the fellow sojourners in our community. Her story is one of God’s promise, and how He’s faithful to His word. There are times when we can hear the voice of God. However, the world around us can be so loud with clutter, noise and disappointments, that it confuses us and even veers us off the path that God’s placed us on….simply put, it sows seed of doubt.
Delene and her husband were momentarily off the path, Gods promise seemed to like a mishearing on their part. However, they stayed faithful to what they heard. They paused & prayed until they recognized they had left God out of this journey. God is so gracious to set us back on paths that we’ve strayed from.
If there is something, some promise, some future that you believe God has called you to and feel weary, please never give up. Continue to pray through your circumstance. Please, like Delene did, reach out to your praying friends to hold you up. I’m here, this community is here, leave a comment below or reach out to me (Contact page, or Instagram).
Much love, tons of giggles & continued grace,
6 Comments
Thank you to Delene and her husband for being so inspiring and allowing God to use them as testimonies that He is still God. Thank you for also sharing not only the glam part of the journey but also sharing with us the entire picture where doubt, discouragement and sometimes leaning on our own understanding can lead us off the plans of God. Your story is a sure word that God is faithful to His word and that He is a loving, just, honorable and grace filled God. You shared it all and indeed the Saints are still writing the books of Acts.
Thank you for giving me hope. When I call unto Him as the God of Sarah and Hanna, I will also say , You are the God of Delene. Thank you. I am believing God for my twin girls just as He has promised.
Pauline, I agree sharing the hard parts is uncomfortable. But when God’s in it, and is getting the glory, our stories hold strength and hope for the next person. I love that you said “You are the God of Delene”, I love when we can relate the Bible and Gods word into todays circumstances as proof that God is still on the move.
Reminds me of Nicole C. Mullen “The God Who Sees”…I was just listening to this today. This song, this video is so good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sz81dIfwf4Y
Thank you so much for sharing. I had reached a point of no return and even contemplated suicide. I am in my second marriage and my husband very supportive. We too have received many prophetic words regarding the fruit of the womb. Years have passed, to date I had 4 operations, was diagnosed with endometriosis at the age of 20. I am 39, after my last operation (July 2020), we were told to consider an egg donor as I had low quality eggs. Even now typing this, it still hurts, however, your story has renewed my faith. I had prayed and fasted and started to believe that maybe it wasn’t God’s will for us to have children of our own. Thank you again for sharing your story.
Khens, please know that you’re in my prayers. I’m grateful the Delenes testimony has encouraged you. God is so able! Keep your roots in Him, that you may be continually renewed, refreshed and hear His wpromises to you.
Psalm 1:3 “That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields it’s fruit in season”
Thank you for this post
Freya, you’re welcome. I hope you were able to receive some encouragement from Dalene’s testimony. I am so grateful for her willingness to share even the hard parts.