Be Careful Little Ears What you Hear
Mom Tribe, where are you? I need your help! I’ve always said that this mothering gig is really just an experiment. Granted, it’s the most important and greatest experiment of our lives, but nobody really has all the answers. Everyone has their own version of an experience to share. Well, here’s mine about the words that so easily fly around our children’s precious ears.
So let me start by saying we’re not the cussing kind (if you do, I have nothing against you-we can still be friends). So then it’s pretty safe to say, my kids are very naive to the language. I do remember though a time when Aden was afraid to say the word “as” because he thought it was a curse. Oh, and I’m aware that simply because it’s outlawed in our home, they’re really gonna have an itch to say them (most likely in whispered giggles). So with Aden, I told him “get it out of your system and just say it” he was horrified at the thought, and Autumn wanted desperately to use her middle finger, so I let her have at it. Turns out, when given permission, it’s not all that fun. It seemed pretty silly to them after it was no longer forbidden fruit.
Recently my son was out playing with the neighborhood kids, not that I heard anybody saying anything bad, but I stood there and listened for a bit, (you know I’m talking about, I know you do it-I was just listening to hear what they talk about when parents aren’t around). Then I wondered to myself, “What would you do if you heard them curse“?
- Would I immediately call him into the house, before their words had a chance to sink into his ears, and have a discussion with him?
- Or would I let it go for a little bit and wait to see how he chooses to respond?
Knowing that at some point he has to deal with the realities around us, I decided that I would let him make his own choice. Why? Because I would rather he learned to flex his decision making skills on something small like “bad words” rather than waiting longer, and having to learn to make good choices on more difficult and possibly damaging issues. He’s nine years old now, and at some point we’ve got to let him stand on his own. He has to become comfortable with making his own choices, and standing on his own convictions. (I should tell you that F-Bombs are an entirely different issue! I’m not willing to let all my mama guards down!! I’d yank him in the house so fast, those kids would be left spinning!)
We feel as he becomes older he’ll need a little space in order to flex his independent thinking, and ability to make good decisions. There’s going to be a time when he’ll be able to go out alone with his friends, without us, and he needs to consider the person he wants to become, and these little steps will help him. I know my son, I know he’s not comfortable with that language, I know he’s not interested in talk like that, but he has to know it too. He must become secure enough in himself to be able to resist what’s uncomfortable to him.
Letting go is a process (certainly not a process I really want to go through), one baby step at a time is how we have to get through it.
Have you been through this already? Please, share what you’ve discovered with me! I love learning from my community of friends here.