Why I choose to honor my marriage over “girl talk”
I got made fun of recently simply because I love my man, because I choose to honor my marriage, because I refuse to play a game in which I secretly keep a list of people that I would rather be with instead of him. I guess my views are just too uncool these days. But luckily, I’ve never considered myself part of the cool crowd.
I got the big eye roll and label of “that Christian who doesn’t have fun”. As if being dedicated to my marriage, being a Christian, and being a wife who puts my husband first is a negative thing. Why is it fun to pretend to share a bed with another man, share intimate moments, share passion? Why is it funny to joke about our vows to each other as if it were possible that someone could step in and break it apart if they’re attractive enough? How shallow.
Matthew 5:28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
I refuse to let my marriage be the butt of some joke. As if my husband is a menial substitution for what I really want. We work hard at this. Our marriage is literally a work of love, sweat and tears. It’s not to be tossed through the mud with silly giggles of pretend unfaithfulness. I’m proud and fiercely protective of what we’ve established in the sight of God. My marriage, the same as my children (another lifelong work of love) are relationships that I don’t treat casually, and I wouldn’t dare let someone else treat them with disregard.
Matthew 12:33-35 “Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree bad and its fruit bad, for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! How can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good person out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure brings forth evil.”
So the push back I’d get from this post is oh, it’s just harmless fun. But I challenge that, let’s say “what if”? What if you your funny joke actually happened and you broke your vow, you broke your spouse’s heart, you broke your home, and you broke your family. What if you knew there was power in your words, would you be talking like this? Would a broken life be worth being part of the in crowd?
Proverbs 18:21 The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
So then, call it whatever you want, I’ll call it devotion. I choose to not allow the boundaries of my mind roam free in the name of playing harmful games? I choose to use my words to build up my marriage, and to never give time to senseless chattering and idle thoughts.
Romans 13:14 But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.
Truth is if you don’t require folks to treat you with respect, sadly they won’t. Call me what you will, but I’m a proud wife who believes in the power of words, and will never allow others to shame me into using destructive ones.
Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Friends, understand this, there’s much to be said about the secrets we let simmer in our hearts. The enemy has a way of sneaking in and waiting us out. Then at the right moment, in rough patches and difficult times, these unfaithful thoughts begin to bubble back to the surface. For these reasons, I don’t dangle danger in front of it for the sake of sparing myself from ridicule.
James 1 14-15 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust. Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.
The reaction I got from after declining to play along makes me wonder, does my refusal to play bring about conviction in others? Is that why they thought it was okay to attempt to shame me? And if so, maybe it’s them who should begin to question why they’re still playing this game.
Ephesians 4:29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Ladies, remember we need to stay in payer. Bring all things before God.
To help you do that, I want to give you these prayer cards.