Teaching our biracial children about acceptance & fitting in
My biracial children are no different than your children. You know what…Scratch that, my kids are extremely different. Your kids are extremely different. The fact is all kids are extremely different, unique, and special in their own way. And that’s what we’ve always taught our children. They’re not different because they’re biracial; But because no two people are exactly alike.
The reality we have to deal with
Sadly, not everyone will accept (or like) my children, and that’s coming from all sides of the aisle. However, my husband and I are people who never needed anyone to accept us or make us feel like we fit in. We know that fitting in is just not part of our calling, so it’s also not our priority.
However, we’ve also come to realize that our kids are just that, kids. We chose this life as adults. We’ve never had to work through feelings of being uneasy, or not being able to find our place. Our children are straddling the line between two worlds, being biracial is something we’ve never had to deal with.
Teaching self-acceptance
Not needing others approval and learning to love & accept themselves is a pretty tough concept for a kid, I get it. All kids just want to fit in, be picked for the team, they even want hair or skin that resembles their friends.
So, for the last few months we’ve been taking steps to help the kids feel more comfortable in their skin and their unique identity.
Head over to meet up with Karissa at BecomingKiona.com to see what lessons we’ve been teaching the kids. I’ve also got some much needed biblical truth & verses for you and the kids to study. Our ultimate calling is not to fit it, but to stand apart from the world and be an example. check out how I’m weaving that into this lesson.
More than our skin color, hair texture, or ancestral lines, we’re first and foremost children of God. Let’s teach them to stand in that identity!
20 Comments
What a wonderful message you are sending to them to stand out and be themselves. I feel like it is harder than ever for kids to feel comfortable, but the more we teach them that loving themselves is important the easier it will be. It starts there.
Absolutely, I feel like we only have a few years to get in there and lay some foundation truth before T.V. and other sources skew their ideas about what love is. I do pray they love who they were created to be…because of who their Creator is.
As humans we focus so much on our differences rather than our similarities. You’re doing an amazing job with your children!
I completely agree with you Helen. Our focus needs to shift to REAL priorities.
You are a rockstar sending your little ones a beautiful message. They will grow to be confident and kind!
Oh, thank you Jen. I sure pray they’ll be all God intended them to be!
It’s great that you are being proactive with this. It’s so important to teach our kids that they are a gift from God and should feel comfortable with that buy also how to navigate the feelings of “standing out.” Especially as Christians, we will stand out in a world that right now does not like it so using everything we can to teach our kids confidence and courage is important.
Yeah, I feel like it’s most important to stand first and foremost as a Christian. To me it seems like that part of their (our) identity is attacked more than any other.
Thank you for this post. My son is biracial, and I have been thinking about how to start teaching him early that we are all different, and that is OK. He responds really well to books, and so we have been reading books with kids of different ethnicities, and also reading books like Daniel Tiger who talk about differences and how they are normal and OK. Thank you for sharing your tips. They are extremely helpful.
Oh Laura, you’re so welcome. Just keep him (and all of your family) involved in a community of people who are open and willing to embrace differences. When you see a kid in a wheelchair, notice his really neat set cover or how he handles it like a pro (…just examples). When you see mixed race couples, point out their neat shoes, or super fast running rather than bringing the focus to their skin. What I mean to say is kids will notice (just as we all do) the obvious, but show them that there is more to a person than what they look like. Keep loving with all your heart, praying about everything and you’ll continue to do an awesome job!
Gosh, I love this sooooo much! God is so good and no matter what racial tensions come, kids learning their worth in the eyes of God is the most important truth they can ever learn. The last line of this post is soooooo good! I sent it to my bestie for her future, biracial kiddos.
Amen, Kristin. With so many images that come into our sight, we need to remember to be proactive in locking arms with brothers and sisters for change, rather than being pitted against one another. We need to rise up as Christians first, and stop focus us things that will surely divide us. Thank you so much for sharing this, I truly hope these word can help bring some clarity.
Standing in their identity as children of God. Something each one of us can teach our children. Thank you!
Yes, Carri, there’s a foundational truth that get’s covered when we bicker about such things as the color of one’s skin.
I’m Asian-American, and I didn’t realize how much that affected my social life a few years ago. I wasn’t “Asian enough” to get along with other Asians, or even my Asian extended family. My mother was “raised American” in a separate household from the rest of her family, and so we are treated as outsiders because we have no understanding of the culture. On the flip side, despite the fact that I was raised fully in “American culture,” the stereotypes surrounding how I looked alienated me from other Caucasian kids. I was ridiculed a lot for Asian stereotypes that didn’t even apply to me. I truly believe that, by raising your children to be aware of what makes them different while being proud of what makes them an individual, you’re giving them an amazing gift. I wish I’d learned this lesson a long time ago.
Katie, thank you so much for sharing this. I think sometimes, people don’t feel good about themselves, so when they say “you’re” not “enough” of something, what they’re really feeling is some confused version of being rejected. So they take this “rejection” from you and slap a label on YOU or ridicule you in an effort to boost themselves up. I pray you now know how truly unique you are and that every part of you is loved by God!
I love that you are teaching your children these important life lessons now. They will grow to be comfortable in their skins and bodies and feel amazing just being their unique little beings. When they have this confidence, it will not matter what judgments they may receive from others. Being unique is what makes us all special, but as you mentioned, this is a hard concept to learn when you are a kid and just want to be like your friends in every way. But these lessons are the ones that stay in your heart forever.
When people judge without even knowing someone, it’s total deflection! how can you make an assumption about a person based off their appearance? I spoke with my son about this post and his response was “everyone I know is biracial”. The wonderful part about his comments is that is was inaccurate. In his eyes everyone is from different cultures or races, so we’re ALL DIFFERENT! Oh my heart…he gets it!!
That is such an important life lessons. World form their eyes must be quite different and it is nice to help them navigate it early on.
❥ tanvii.com
It really is different for them. A little more than I thought it would be, but honestly (and thank God) not more than I can handle at this point.