Helping or hindering-the trouble with solving all our children's problems #raisingkids #bibleverse #parenting With Giggles & Grace

24 Comments

  • Reply candy 2018 at 8:16 AM

    We were the type of parents who didn’t solve our kids problems. We were there to help guide and especially when they asked for help. They will never learn to solve anything if we are always bailing them out.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 11:33 AM

      Yes, a guiding hand is much preferred….and a lot of patience too.

  • Reply Heather 2018 at 10:52 AM

    I completely agree. I think that sometimes they have to figure it out on their own and do things that they don’t want to do. Thanks for this parenting reminder!

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 11:36 AM

      Heather, you’ve got that right. Typically when they don’t want to do something it’s because it will take too much effort, but that’s exactly what they need to be learning to do, put forth effort.

  • Reply Heather 2018 at 12:57 PM

    We’ve learned that it’s better to teach than to do for them. They need to know how to take care of themselves once they are at the right age.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 11:37 AM

      Right, or we’ll be solving their problems into their adult years…YIKES!

  • Reply Melissa | Primp And Prime Beauty 2018 at 3:24 PM

    As much as I love helping my kids solve their problems, I know in the long run it isn’t in their best interest. Instead, I help them strategize by asking questions and then they feel excited once they figure it out on their own.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 11:42 AM

      Melissa, isn’t it so great to see them work thought it and be proud?! It’s a pretty proud mom moment too.

  • Reply Lauren @ Simply-Well-Balanced 2018 at 5:49 PM

    Agreed! They need to learn how to solve their own struggles and overcome on their own. Otherwise they will never learn they are capable.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 12:01 PM

      They really are so much more capable than they realize, it’s just that being capable is not always fun.

  • Reply Maria 2018 at 7:34 PM

    Yes, let them chores! Thanks for the tips. 🙂 I needed to hear a few of these today.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 12:02 PM

      I was thrilled when my kids reached the age they were able to start doing chores. It’s such a big help, and they begin to realize the mess doesn’t magically disappear.

  • Reply Amanda 2018 at 7:58 PM

    I try to be as hands off as possible. My hope is that my boys learn to become independent problem solvers.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 12:03 PM

      Exactly. We can be the net that catches them, but they have to learn to jump!

  • Reply Crystal 2018 at 5:15 PM

    I needed to read this post! I feel like as their mom I need to help my kids as much as I can! I’m going to be thinking back on this every time I’m tempted to help them with every little thing! Thank you so much!

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 9:45 AM

      Crystal, I’m so happy this will encourage you as you move forward. Believe me, I still want to jump in, but now I ask myself “what’s the harm in letting them figure this out?” if I can’t find a good answer then I back off a bit. Good Luck, you’ve got this!

  • Reply Amanda m 2018 at 8:22 PM

    I don’t have kids but I loved when my mom just listened!

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 9:46 AM

      Amanda, that’s so great to hear. I think as parents we tend to switch into helping mode and forget what we wanted from our parents when we were growing up. Thanks for that!

  • Reply Erin Haugerud 2018 at 8:51 PM

    Great read! I just love this topic!

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 9:47 AM

      You’re welcome, and thanks for stopping by Erin.

  • Reply Lauren 2018 at 8:18 AM

    I’m sure this is such a prevalent topic among many parents! I personally don’t have any kids, but I worked in a daycare and was a nanny for quite a while. I don’t think there is a right or wrong way, because every family personality and style s completely different! In my eyes, solving all of the childs problems would be a hinderence. However, I do believe that guiding them is beneficial. Answer all of their questions, maybe turn the question back on them and see if they can answer it in a new way, etc.

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 9:49 AM

      Lauren, with all your experience I’m sure you’ve got a lot of advice that you could offer parents that may be stuck in the weeds of a situation. Such a great perspective you have, and I agree, turning the question back to them is a great way to get them thinking.

  • Reply Christy | www.lifeofnine.com 2018 at 1:38 PM

    So many great point! One day we won’t be around and have to trust that they can think things through independently!

    • Reply Jen E. 2018 at 9:57 AM

      Amen Christy, we have to teach them to survive without us all the time. Our role is to prepare them for life.

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