“No” to his prayer request-because it’s your turn to pray
My response to my sons prayer request was “No”. Please, hear me out. If you know anything about me, it’s that I take prayer seriously. I pray for my kids every day, all day (okay, maybe not ALL day, but quite a number of times throughout). However, I realized one day that my son was beginning to lean on my prayer life to be a replacement for his own prayer life. That’s when I knew I had to set a few things straight.
I explained to him that we should be in prayer for each other, because prayer changes things (1 John 5:14), but my prayers are not a replacement for HIS relationship with God. We’re supposed to individually bring our difficulties to the Lord and lay them at His feet (Matthew 11:28). There are things that God wants to speak right into the heart of the individual.
So here’s 3 steps that we’re taking together to strengthen both his prayer life, his dependence on the Lord more than his dependence on me, while taking responsibility of his own actions:
Prayer cards
I’ve created a new set of prayer cards specifically for my kids. It’s not only a way for adults, but for my kids to not forget what they’re prayer needs are. Just like me, their days are busy and they can forget to take a moment to go to God with their needs. I’m encouraging my son to keep these with them. Now I don’t expect that he’ll be pulling these out rather than running around at recess; but if while rummaging through his bag for a pencil or a book, and happens upon them, he’s more inclined to remember his request and maybe lift it to the Lord.
Verse cards
In the same way that we as adults need to be running to the Word for direction, so do the tiny humans we’re raising. I carry around Bible verses in a book, I have different verses for different situations/needs. He and I have been sitting together to go through the Word and write down verses to remind him that God is with him & understand his needs, and even some encouragement to get him through the challenges he’s facing. This is a great way to introduce the fact that the Word of God is our handbook for life.
Figure out what’s in the way
Lastly, we made a plan to navigate obstacles. We go over some actionable items that need to happen for him to move forward in assured victory. What’s hindering him from focusing his full attention on a task, or what’s taking up his time that could be better spent working through difficulties or studies?
My prayer is that encouraging him to take this step in maturing his spiritual life and taking control of his decision making process, he begins to grow in confidence. I pray that he begins to understand that both of these things takes work, and good old stick-to-itiveness. God allows us each to go through trials to teach us something, He’s not a magic genie that’ll poof all his problems away, but rather a loving God who wants to have a relationship and meet us in our needs.
His walk with God is not something that belongs to me or his father, but to him alone. It’s also not a cure all for getting out of unwanted consequences to his unfortunate choices.
31 Comments
Thanks for giving me something to think about. My daughter isn’t even two yet, so this isn’t quite applicable just yet, but I’ll definitely keep this in mind as she gets older! Prayers to you and yours!
Thanks for taking time to read Kalyn, and thanks for prayer!
Jen, these ideas are so great and tangible. Thank you. In the mornings, we have a “together pray time.” They all take a turn praying aloud. I am teaching them the WAR method. (Worship, Admit sin, and Request). Along with the Lord’s Prayer. I am hoping to see the Spirit work in them to desire to pray on their own.
Amy, this WAR method is so good. I’ve never heard this before. Thank you so much for sharing, I’ll be using this with them.
So encouraging. My girls just recently starting praying prayers other than reciting memorized prayers. I love the idea of them having their own prayer and verse cards.
Isn’t it so great to hear what they lift to the Lord, and what’s on their heart? So sweet.
Oh mama, I love these three steps! It is so important to not get in the way of our child’s relationship with God by praying FOR them. I couldn’t agree with this post more. I love the idea of carrying around index cards for Bible verses… every struggle I’ve ever encountered I have been able to get through with the word of the Bible
I think as mama’s we’re so used to jumping in and helping, but there are times when it’s best to let them figure things out for themselves. I agree, I carry my cards around with me everywhere too.
Love your three step ideas for this! My kids are grown now. Teaching them to look to God and helping them understand the power of his Word were our number one priority in parenting. I’m grateful now for the time we took to help them and am grateful beyond words that they desired this relationship for their own. Great tips and insights!!!!
Oh Lori, that walk, that’s what I desire for my kids. I’m so willing to put in all the time and effort, and to lead by example.
These are such useful and gentle steps. Everyone does need their own relationship, so it’s nice to see you encouraging him to remember that.
Thanks Katherine, I definitely want to encourage his own personal walk.
Ooo, these are great ideas for helping our children make that relationship more personal! Thanks – I’ll be sharing this around! 🙂
Jen @ Being Confident of This
Thanks for sharing Jen.
These are such great tips! I will absolutely keep these in mind when my kids are older!
Belle | One Awesome Momma
It’s my pleasure to share as we’re learning, Belle!
This is such a good lesson for kids. I love your idea of prayer cards and verse cards. Definitely going to remember this for when my daughter gets older.
Thanks Anna. The prayer cards have been such a big help…for all of us.
The prayer cards and teaching our children to learn to pray themselves is a great lesson! Way to go, Mama, for teaching them the things that matter. 💕
Oh, thanks Amanda! I just want him to have a real relationship with God, one based on a personal experience. Thank you for the encouragement.
I like the ideas of prayer cards and scripture cards. I would love to do this for my son. He’s older but still needs these as he navigates high school.
Wanda, high school can be rough, I’m thinking that keeping the Word close in that tough terrain will be imperative. Many prayers as he walks and grows in the Lord.
I love this! I like your prayer and Scripture cards!! Teaching your child to pray is so huge!! What an investment on your part!!
Thank you Donna! I agree, teaching our kids is vital to getting them ready to walk with the Lord on their own.
That’s so neat that you are helping your son in His relationship with God like that! love the ideas, hopefully I can do the same with my daughter some day!
Joella, these are such easy steps, you’ve got this!
So much wisdom here! It’s not just kids that lean on others’ prayer lives either.
Oh, thanks Leah! And yes, I agree, this is a lesson for more than just kids.
These are such wonderful steps for teaching your children about the power of their own prayer and helping them create their own relationship with God. Saving this!
Thanks Maryal, and thanks for saving.
Such a good point! I pray over my children every evening but I definitely don’t want that to limit them from their own relationship with God. Thanks for sharing!