Growing up in a Non-Christian home: Why I’m grateful
I didn’t grow up in a Christian home. I really didn’t have a relationship with God, nor did I realize that there was a clear laid out purpose for my life. I knew of God but I didn’t know Him personally. But I have to tell you, I’ve learned to be grateful for growing up in a non-christian home.
Let me explain just a little. I’m not saying that my parents didn’t believe in God. It’s just that God wasn’t a huge part of their parenting or a topic of discussion. I’ve always thought it hindered me, like it kept me out of some kind of exclusive club. But now I realize it provides me with a wonderful opportunity to share my “worldly” knowledge with my children. This is my experience, this is where I came from and where I’m going. I share to give my perspective & to help others understand that our past can be used, no matter what it looks like.
As a mother I try to use all of who I am and what I’ve gone through to teach my kids. I fully believe that God has always had His hand over my life, no matter who my parents are, and what choices I made. So, why would I resent the life He gave me? Rather than feeling like I missed out, I use it. I use it as lessons to draw from when teaching my kids.
I’m grateful: I can use my non-christian past to help relate to their futures
I get to tell my children about the many ways I rebelled & the how, even still, I’ve experienced God’s grace. Through the mistakes I’ve made & the lessons I’ve learned, He’s always been with me. I’ll be able to relate to what they’re feeling, and let them know I do remember the struggles. I know what it’s like to give in to bad choices, and carry around the regret of them. I know both the heavy weight of disappointment, & the freedom found in repentance. I want to teach them, that no matter where they may go, God will always be with them.
I know both the heavy weight of disappointment, & the freedom found in repentance. Click To TweetI’m grateful: I understand giving in to peer pressure
I know what it’s like to walk around trying to find your identity in other people, changing yourself just to fit in. I know what it’s like to give in to temptation, then immediately regretting it. I know about making choices that go against what you feel inside, simply for relief from the nagging voices around you. I know how scary it can be wanting to go right when everyone else is turning left. I know the guilt of deciding to go left anyway. Simply put, I remember conviction, and honestly I still live in it today. But I want them to know they can make the choice to stand firm.
I understand choosing God
I know what it’s like to give in to compromise so often that it becomes normal, it becomes everyday and average. It settles within your heart, and tries to extinguish the fire God put in your spirit. However, now I also know what it’s like to be renewed, on fire, and fresh with purpose. I chose this life over the one the world offered me. I chose to stop going round & round in empty experiences that left much to be desired, rather than moving in forward motion toward a goal, a gift, a life that God has for me. I choose valley low experiences with the anticipation of mountain high victories. I choose keeping the faith rather than doubting if there’s even a god at all. I choose full life rather then hollow shells. I choose God.
I choose valley low experiences with the anticipation of mountain high victories. Click To TweetI know they’re going to think I’m “mom” & I couldn’t possibly understand. I want them to know I chose this life, that loving God wasn’t a life of default for me. But that I had actual encounters with a God who rocked my world, shook it up, and landed me on solid ground. I’ve experienced a life of default and one of choice & I know which is better!
I've experienced a life of default and one of choice & I know which is better! Click To TweetWhat I didn’t learn
Here’s what I don’t know. I can’t relate to the thrill of knowing I’ve just stood up & been the strongest I’ve ever been for the sake of the Most High ruler of all the earth! I don’t know what it feels like to stand up to (let’s be honest) catty, cruel teenagers. I can only recount a few times of truly having my real self shine through in the decisions I made. I hope that my past is something I can use to encourage my children to experience these feelings, and share them with me.
Final Lessons from growing up in a non-christian home:
For my kids
- I have life experiences I can share with my kids. I understand what it’s like to want to do something then actually give in to those desires.
- I can talk to my kids about my regrets and how I wish I would have done differently. They will choose their own path, but I can at least help then understand long term regrets and how to avoid them.
- I hope to convey what it feels like to give in to the things we desire, but how it never truly satisfies.
- I use my own experiences as a contrast to help my kids understand how fortunate they are to know God from such a young age.
- I can teach them what that forbidden fruit really taste like & how it gets stale and moldy so quickly after we bite into it.
- The world can not truly fill the desires of our hearts.
For me
- I got to experience the person I didn’t want to be, and now take an active role in my own life. I’ve truly found myself, and made a choice to love God. I have a clear view of who I want, and don’t want to be.
- I know God’s unfailing, persistent love for me. Each forward step, every healed wound is all because of God’s determined pursuit of me. He never asked anything from me all those years, He just wanted to comfort, love and heal me.
- I have a clean slate to draw on for my parenting.
- I’ve experienced other things that said they would satisfy, but nothing gives the peace & satisfaction that God does.
- I can look at my parents and see how far they’ve come, and be proud that one day my kids will go further than me.
I know has been a lot, and thank you so much for sticking with me and reading what I have to share.
I’d love to know what things have impacted you from growing up in a Christian or Non-Christian home. We all have stories to share & learn from. Let’s cultivate conversation & community!
22 Comments
I absolutely love your perspective!!! I love your heart. I grew up in a Believing family. It was wonderful in many ways but one disadvantage is that it made it harder for me to develop my own faith. I had to leave for a little bit so I could find Jesus in m own way. And when I did I came back and our family is stronger for it. I love your site. 🙂
Sarah, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to this post. I love to hear your perspective too. I think it’s important that we all find Jesus on our own, otherwise it’s never going to be something that we stick to it. If we’re not doing something because it’s what we know and love, then I don’t think we’re going to be fully invested with our hearts and we can easily wander.It’s good for me to hear what you have to say, it’s the same perspective my children may one day have too. Thanks for the love, I work on this site quite often to get it to a place that makes me feel like it’s a bit of home.
Great post. I am from a Buddhist family but my husband is Christian. Now our kids are starting to ask questions about God and religion. You have a great perspective that I think will be helpful for me.
Jolene, I truly do hope there’s something in this post that you could use when teaching your kids. Being raised Buddhist and married to a Christian is quite interesting, and I can imagine your children have a lot of questions. Having open conversations and allowing them to freely speak is the best thing we as parents can do.
You move a mama to tears. It is truly your “trenches” from the past that the kids will look to to find their grounding and path to God. It is easy to be a Christian when things are peachy keen growing up in a Christian home, but it’s when you are knocked off your feet but NOT off your Foundation that you deeply find life living through Him.
Thank you for sharing your heart and your beautiful family ❤.
Carlen
Oh Carlen, It’s absolutely my pleasure to share and make connection here. And you know the interesting thing is that I know my kids are going to get knocked on their butt, and I kind of hope they do. I feel like it’s only in those places that you can truly know that when you fall God will catch you. Those are the times that steady you and your faith & trust in God. It’s only the mama in me that hopes that they’ll never have to fall, that they can just ask me questions, and just know that God loves them. But I know that’s not how it works. I’ll share with them as much as I can in hopes that my lessons we’ll teach them too. Thank you so much, you’re words are an encouragement to me to keep sharing here, and making connections.
I loveloveloved reading your perspective! I grew up in a Christian home and have always been grateful that I did, but I love that you can use your own experiences to help others along in their faith walk. We all can, but especially for those from a similar background to yours, you can relate to them on a different level.
Erica, you’re so right. Whether it’s in a Christian home, or a non-Christian home, God knows where we all are. He knows what we need, and He knows that our paths will be an encouragement to people of all different walks of life. Knowing that you loved your life, are still walking with God, and are grateful for the way you grew up, is an encouragement to me too. The only perspective I know is my own, but my kids will have a different one. So hearing from people who grew up in a Christian home as a comfort to me. Thank you for sharing.
A really lovely read Jen. I grew up in a house were we believed in God but didn’t necessarily go to church. My 5 year old son is just starting to ask about God and how things on the planet came to be and I’ve loved teaching him about these things.
Caroline, isn’t it interesting how our children can bring us back to the basics of our faith, they can even ignite a spark within us that makes us want to grow so we can teach them. Whenever my kids ask me questions my response is, “I don’t know but I’ll find out for you”. Not because I want to be the mom who knows everything, but because I want to know for myself too. Keep learning & keep teaching, friend!
What a great read. It’s so important for us to reflect on our past and what we’ve learned growing up. It’s easy to look back and highlight the bad, what didn’t work, why we were unhappy, but to look back and find moments of learning and growth is so important. It’s wonderful that you can pass that on to your children, too.
Thanks Paula. I believe that we can use our broken past for good. Whether it’s learning what not to do, learning who to stay away from, or different ways to teach our kids, it can all be used as learning and teaching moments. We are who we are today because if every good, bad, and ugly that’s happened to us. If I’m going to stand here today and love myself, then I’ve got I love everything that brought me here today. Keep being awesome, Paula!
I can totally see that. I did grow up in a Christian home and even though I would not trade that, it kind of would be nice to have had a single moment where everything clicked for the first time and was obvious because of where I had come from. I am grateful that God brought me to him through a Christian family. But I totally get what you mean.
You know what’s awesome though? God chose you, too! He opened your eyes and gave you the desire and ability to have that moment where you chose him back! And he had planned that for you from the very beginning! So awesome!
Kristin, that’s the amazing beauty of our God! He can use anybody, everybody, from all walks of life. Hearing that you loved growing up in a Christian home warms my heart. That’s what I want my kids to say one day. And yes, even today I am still looking back and seeing how God was with me in a moment that I had no idea He was with me in. Moments when I should have been hurt, confused, damaged…instead, He protected me. He gave me wisdom to speak up, and wisdom to stay silent when needed. Man, He surely is an Awesome God!
Such a great post. I also grew up in a non-religious home, and actually just chose to become religious a few years ago before having my kids. I kind of feel like it gave me an edge and allowed me to choose which way I best identified with God.
Jessica, you get to experience God in a new and fresh way. I pray that you’re relationship with Him is personal and constantly growing. I pray your children will see the genuine love you have for Him, and want to have that too. Keep growing, learning, and sharing with you kids!
I absolutely love this. It’s amazing how the Lord truly redeems all things.
Yes!! ALL things. He can use ALL things to bring us close to Him. Then we use those experience, share them and help others to see from different perspectives too. There is no love that compares to His all knowing, relentless in pursuing love for us!
Love this! I wasn’t raised in a Christian home and didn’t come to Christ until I was 30, so I have had those moments of feeling left out of the club. When I was a babe in Christ I had some resentment toward my parents for not training me up in the way I should go, and so much shame for the sin of my past. But God has since given me a similar gratefulness for the life experiences I’ve had. I was taught about God growing up, not by family devotions or a Sunday school teacher, but by God himself as I can look back and see his hand of provision, protection, mercy, and grace, as he relentlessly pursued me. I learned about his longsuffering and lovingkindness as he waited for me to decide that my sinful and selfish lifestyle was no longer appealing. I’ve been saved for almost 10 years now, and I pray I don’t ever forget the pit he pulled me from. It gives me the ability to minister to women with similar backgrounds out of humility and understanding, with grace and truth, and not as a perfectly put together religious robot. I subscribed to your blog and will be following your social media as dailyhisdisciple! I look forward to reading more posts. 🙂
Annie, funny how we’re fed lies by the enemy that our past is useless, that God can’t use every piece of us as a living testimony. I’m glad to hear that you recognize that all of who you are is useful to God, and to others who walked a similar path. Thank you so much for following along, please jump into the conversations and add your thoughts. Followed you back!
It’s so great that you’re using your “past life” as a blessing and a way to teach your kids.
Of course Anne! God uses every piece of us, and if He loves all of who were are (while were were yest sinner, Jesus died for us) then who am I to question the life He gave me. We all have experiences that can be used for Gods greater good!