Apologizing to your kids

48 Comments

  • Reply Julia July 27, 2017 at 7:39 AM

    I really loved this…some days can be so tough and overwhelming and its so easy to react in ways that we regret! But I do the same thing and always say I’m sorry to my girls after I have calmed down. They are still so young and have no clue what I am saying, but I still give them hugs or kiss and apologize for getting upset. its only fair to them like you said!

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 11:52 AM

      Julia, it’s funny because our kids can sometimes see right past our downfalls. My son was the same way, he was so quick to forgive and forget. In those moments is when I can see God in them. God forgives us quickly and will no longer remember our transgressions. Good for you for showing your kids what an apology looks like!

  • Reply Jordan | Read. Eat. Repeat. July 27, 2017 at 8:10 AM

    It’s a little disgusting how often I have to apologize to my kids. But I always try to remind myself that a little humility never hurt anyone and it’s teaching them that everyone makes mistakes and the proper way to handle it is to own up to it. And it makes my heart flutter to hear tiny voices say ‘We forgive you, mama’.

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 11:55 AM

      Oh goodness Jordan, the impact of those words coming out of our little ones is such a beautiful reminder to us as adults. It reminds us that they are not to be discounted, and they are such a great example to us on how to forgive. Great job on recognizing when you have to apologize though…it’s not always easy.

  • Reply Sami July 27, 2017 at 9:07 AM

    Oh my goodness, I didn’t know that I needed to read this today. I’ll have to save it for later when my daughter is a wee bit older. Thank you, this is excellent.

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 11:56 AM

      Sami, I’m glad you stopped by. It’s always great to get a head start!

  • Reply Lynn Woods July 27, 2017 at 9:26 AM

    This is such a great post. I don’t know why parents have problems apologizing to their kids. Right is right.

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 11:58 AM

      Lynn honestly, I prefer to apologize to kids over adults. Adults hold grudges and remember too often. Our kids are so forgiving.

  • Reply Cas@Getyourholidayon.com July 27, 2017 at 9:49 AM

    This is something every parent should remember. Sometimes we make mistakes to and it’s what you do and how you handle the situation that is important. Great post!

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 11:59 AM

      You’re right, often kids don’t remember what we did, but they forgive. They’ll remember that you were able to ask for forgiveness. It leaves an impact on them.

  • Reply Victoria with One Sharp Mama July 27, 2017 at 9:58 AM

    I am so glad you wrote this post. Parenting can be hard and stressful but we have to keep our composure and those times we do slip, we need to acknowledge them, like you’ve said. I think this is a post all parents should read, just as a reminder as how our actions are being perceived.

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 12:02 PM

      Thank you so much Victoria, that means a lot! Yeah, I think they also love that you’ve made them feel validated, and respected when you apologize to them.

  • Reply Melissa Javan July 27, 2017 at 10:38 AM

    It takes a great person to apologize. It’s a hard function to do. Great post momma – you were brave for doing for your kids; love this.

    • Reply jennifer.enoch27@gmail.com July 27, 2017 at 12:03 PM

      Definitely Melissa! Apologizing takes a lot of pride swallowing, but our kids want nothing more than to feel respected. They’re so forgiving, and they make it so easy.

  • Reply Yolanda July 27, 2017 at 1:08 PM

    Thanks for calling this out. It’s so important as a good person to apologize, no matter who it’s to. It’s something I want my kids to do and be okay with. We don’t have to be right all the time! So, being humble and sucking it up as a parent and adult is good 🙂

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 8:54 PM

      Yolanda, you’re right, there’s no need to feel shame or embarrassment just because we’ve made an error. Such is life, it’ll happen a few more times, I’m sure of it. It’s good for our kids to know it’s a part of life and be able to deal with it.

  • Reply Corey | The Nostalgia Diaries July 27, 2017 at 1:29 PM

    The other day I lost my temper with my daughter after being frustrated with something entirely different than her. I immediately noticed what I was doing and apologized. It’s always so important to stay humble.

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 9:11 PM

      At home with our family is a great place to start asking for forgiveness. Good for you, Corey! We all have those moments, but it’s the comeback that matters.

  • Reply Jill July 27, 2017 at 3:45 PM

    Oh my sweet friend. I love this. My own mother was really good at this. She showed humility and grace for herself and me so many times growing up. When I’ve messed up with my girls, especially my oldest, I always tell her that she and I are in this together. I’m learning too. I’m thankful for her patient heart with me as I figure out new seasons of motherhood. xoxo. You’re so awesome Jen.

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 9:19 PM

      Jill, I think honesty is one of the best approaches to mothering. Letting your kids know they’re part of the team gives them such a healthy understanding of family. I love that you say that to your daughters because I do the same with my kids. So exciting to know great mothers think a like **giggles. Seriously though, I let my kids know I’m doing the best I can and that teamwork is essential to the running of our family. God put us together for a reason. I’m so glad you enjoyed the post.

  • Reply Brittany Ferrell July 27, 2017 at 7:21 PM

    I love this post for so many reasons. “Reacting in frustration only leads to regret.” We have all been there. Tired and frustrated and we snap. We don’t even mean it to be directed towards our kids most of the time. But as you said, it is never okay to act that way and when we make the mistake in the moment, it is so important to apologize. I have a feeling that your apology is going to be the memory your son holds dear, not the blow up. Fantastic post.

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 9:25 PM

      Oh Brittany, I so hope my apology is something that sticks with him. He’s so compassionate and I would hate to do anything other than bolster his compassion. Thank you for taking time and spending it here today, my friend!

  • Reply Vicki @ Babies to Bookworms July 27, 2017 at 7:56 PM

    This was great. I definitely try to apologize to my daughter when I am wrong. I could totally see the look you were describing on your son’s face!

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 9:35 PM

      Vicki, it still hurts me to remember. It’s awful! I never want to be the reason he looks like that again. Good for you for doing the right thing!

  • Reply Rachel July 27, 2017 at 7:56 PM

    I really appreciate this. I grew up in a family that the parents never apologized and just made excuses when they did mess up. It made it hard to forgive them when they truly hurt me. I hope to be the kind of mom that isn’t afraid to apologize to her kiddos.

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 11:13 PM

      Rachel, I feel you, I really do. Let me tell you, because this was something that YOU longed to hear and knew you should have heard, it’ll make you want to strive to do things differently. I find myself implementing parenting styles that I needed when I was growing up. Thank you for sharing,

  • Reply Cyndi July 27, 2017 at 8:23 PM

    As a mom of grown kids (and a 13-year-old “caboose”), this resonated with me. Even now I find myself remembering times when I didn’t apologize and should have. I’ve learned that it’s never too late to say “Hey, I know that sometimes I really blew it when you were growing up and I’m sorry.” My babies are starting to have babies, and I want them to know that a), it’s OK to blow it and b), it’s OK to come back and ask for forgiveness a long time later.

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 11:06 PM

      Cyndi, I bet that even as adults, your kids are still willing to forgive you like they were still your little child. We never stop being parents and never have to stop teaching them. That’s such encouragement to me to always be striving, no matter what phase of parenting I’m in.

  • Reply Keri July 27, 2017 at 9:13 PM

    It is such a good thing to be able to apologize! Teaches our kids so much

    • Reply Jen E. July 27, 2017 at 11:15 PM

      It really does Keri. Apologies can be hard, but our kids are so willing to forgive and make it easy for us.

  • Reply Tania July 28, 2017 at 1:15 AM

    Great post! Apologizing to our children models a picture of things they will confront and will need to do as adults. Thanks for sharing.

    • Reply Jen E. July 28, 2017 at 12:52 PM

      Tania, you’re right. And why wait until they’re adults…by then it’ll be such a hard thing to learn.

  • Reply Bailey July 28, 2017 at 3:13 AM

    It’s so important to be willing to humble yourself and apologize to your kids. It teaches them so much and definitely teaches us something too.

    • Reply Jen E. July 28, 2017 at 12:55 PM

      Bailey, you’re right, it goes both ways.

  • Reply Anchal July 28, 2017 at 6:20 AM

    LOved your post. some days really are tough.

    • Reply Jen E. July 28, 2017 at 1:03 PM

      I can’t argue with you there. Sometimes it really does mean taking a big step back, long enough to be able to release the anger, and then coming back to apologize. I’ve even told my kids to just walk away because I was so frustrated and didn’t want to take it out on them.

  • Reply Kristin Cook July 28, 2017 at 7:02 AM

    Yes! I so believe in apologizing when we do something wrong in life (even when that means apologizing to children). It can be a huge slice of humble pie to digest, but kids will never learn to genuinely apologize if they don’t see us living that out!

    • Reply Jen E. July 28, 2017 at 12:58 PM

      I love that Kristin…humble pie! Yes, we are (after all) to be the example for them.

  • Reply Tina July 28, 2017 at 8:55 AM

    Great post! There is nothing wrong with owning up to your mistakes as a mom! I apologize to my kids whenever I was genuinely out of line or forgetful or make a mistake. It has taught them to own up to their mistakes and to recognize when they make one. Love this!

    • Reply Jen E. July 28, 2017 at 1:01 PM

      Tina, you’re comment got me to thinking, I’m hoping that apologizing to them will take the shame out of making a mistake. It’s part of growing. And good for you for doing what you know is right!

  • Reply Cheyenne July 28, 2017 at 4:49 PM

    I love this! It’s so hard for me to apologize to my kids but I know it’s necessary and good. Great post!

    • Reply Jen E. July 28, 2017 at 10:40 PM

      Cheyenne, give it a go, you’ll be surprised at how eager your kids are to forgive…and they light up when realize you respect them enough to ask for their forgiveness. It’s just good all the way around. Stay encouraged, you got this!

  • Reply Mia July 29, 2017 at 4:11 PM

    i’m so glad i’ve read your article. i totally agree with u. i talked about this subject with Christian friends and maybe I misunderstood, at least I hope so…but they didn’t share my point of you and adviced me to keep cool and not say sorry to my 3yr old daughter. even so I still say sorry because I think its a way to repair our relationship, it gives her an example. she is quick to say sorry to me and dad, to Jesus when praying. even if sb judges me, I feel it is correct to do so. God bless you!

    • Reply Jen E. August 1, 2017 at 3:31 PM

      Mia, thank you so much for sharing. Yes I think there can be an inappropriate time to apologize, (like apologizing for enforcing the rules of your home), but if you’ve done something and are genuinely sorry, then an apology is most likely fitting. I’ve heard others say that apologizing shows weakness, but if your firm in your rules, and discipline when necessary, then that gives a child a healthy & rounded understanding. Parenting is difficult to navigate, and we’re always adjusting, but you have to be comfortable with you role. Keep doing what you feel is right.

  • Reply Jehava August 3, 2017 at 1:59 PM

    This is so powerful and definitely a lesson I have learned! It’s amazing the lesson it teaches them as well.

    • Reply Jen E. August 7, 2017 at 9:56 AM

      Oh Jehava, we’re better for realizing that it’s something we can (and should) do. We’re all on a learning journey, and it doesn’t have to end once we because adults.

  • Reply Connie @Lessons and Learning for Littles August 3, 2017 at 7:14 PM

    Love, love, love this! Thank you for the awesome reminders and for making such great points. Leading by example is key and their feelings are important and do matter too. Thank you for this great post!

    • Reply Jen E. August 7, 2017 at 10:00 AM

      Oh Connie, thank you so much. I think we can forget that we’re raising future adults and the lessons we teach them will go with them when they leave us. Apologizing is something that may be a bit harder for adults, but not impossible.

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